That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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