I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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