So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
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i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
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I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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