my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This baby is an asshole
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
