in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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