A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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