Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
