She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
