My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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