AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
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