i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
