I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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