I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
