No awkward lesbian experiences without me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
