I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old