Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
