I think i peed on brittanys purse
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
