oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
