So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
