I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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