Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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