Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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