i permit you to call me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
