Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
