I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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