i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
