Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize