Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
