The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We talked him into tasing himself.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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