I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
