oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
