fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
