You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We don't watch enough power rangers
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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