she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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