We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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