I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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