Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.