So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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