I got chris browned last night
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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