There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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