I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
