why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
