my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
