There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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