My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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