garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
