Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just had sex on a roof
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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