so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
