my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
