I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if only i could text you this smell
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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