She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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