I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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