On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
