OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
