You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
