I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
