You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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