Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well I just put wine in my tea
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!