the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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