"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
